(Image Information: Rama and Sita with Gods
Fred Miller. Source: Flickr)
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It was a wonderful evening in Panchvati, and I was admiring the scenery right in front of me. Sita was out in the river, taking a bath. I was lucky to have her, and I knew she was lucky to have me.
Deep in my thoughts, I noticed something in the front yard. Beyond the trees, leaves, and greenery, there was movement. Someone was there.
It was a woman. I thought I would never see anyone more beautiful than Sita, but this woman in the front yard was gorgeous. When she walked around, her eyes glistened, her teeth sparkled, and she had the perfect womanly figure.
As she approached me, I began to feel nervous. I began to ask her who she was, and where she came from. She came to the cottage and entered. "I am Soorpanaka, Ravana's sister," she said. Appalled by this, I was still amazed by her beauty nonetheless.
Soorpanaka began talking about her family, but I wasn't paying attention as I was too amazed by her beauty. With this in mind, I began to feel confused. Had I married the wrong woman? Did passing that test set by the King an accident? Was this woman in front of me my actual true love?
Sita arrived at the cottage, with a cheerful smile. "Who is this?" she cheerfully asked. With hesitation, I told her that this was Ravana's sister. Both women glared at each other, and I was confused. There were two women in front of me, and I may only choose one. To both I said, "I am sorry, but I am having some mixed feelings." Both women were confused, and I further explained to them that I was not sure on who I loved anymore. Both of them were beautiful, but I just don't know which of them is my true love.
I told Lakshmana my situation, and he advised me to set out certain criteria. The woman who meets the criteria is my actual true love. This idea was actually really good. I had to meet certain criteria for the King to see that I was capable of marrying Sita, so why couldn't I set out certain criteria to see who my true love was?
The next day arrived, and I asked Lakshmana to call both of the women. Both women entered and I explained my desires of figuring out my true love. "Both of you will be tested to see who is the right woman for me. After this has been established, the woman who meets the criteria will be my wife, while the other woman will be made ugly by Lakshmana," I said. Both women looked ready to compete for my love. I laid out the rules.
"The woman who does not leave my side for the next 24 hours will be deemed as my wife." To both of these women, it seemed like an easy task. However, they did not know the obstacles that would arise within the next 24 hours.
For the first few hours, both women sat by my side. However, dinner time was approaching. Soorpanaka complained of her hunger. Sita sat silent. I said, "I am hungry." With which both women replied, "Can we get you something?" I allowed the women to leave my side, and let them go prepare some food. A couple of hours later, Sita returned with a lavish meal set out for 3 people. This was surprising, as I did not expect Sita to think about Soorpanaka. Soorpanaka arrived with crumbs on her face. She said, "Sorry your majesty, I was not able to find any food. I searched high and low, and I am very sorry for not returning with any food. Is there any way that you could forgive me?' I told her that it was okay.
As bedtime approached, I told both women that I was going to bed. Soorpanaka took this opportunity to ask if there was a place for her to sleep as she did not want to sleep on the floor, while Sita proclaimed that I could have her bed. "Sorry, Soorpanaka, I will be the only one sleeping in a separate room. I will see you both in the morning."
Morning arrived, and Soorpanaka was gone. Sita was on the floor, awake. She was waiting for me. From this, I truly realized that my decision to marry Sita was the right one. Soorpanaka, as beautiful as she may be, was not the one for me. When Soorpanaka arrived, she began to come up with her excuses for leaving. I told her, "Soorpanaka, I have chosen Sita. You are to be deemed 'the ugly one'."
Lakshmana came around the corner of the cottage, and chopped Soorpanaka's breasts and nose. She ran away in fear, and I knew that my wife, Sita, would always be the one there for me.
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Author's Note: In the original story in the Ramayana, Rama had to prove his worthiness to marry Sita by bending Shiva's sword. Later in the story, when Rama goes into exile he sees another woman. Soorpanaka was a woman who approached Rama and desired him. When Soorpanaka saw that Sita was his wife, she tried every way she could to get Rama to desire her. Lakshmana, disgusted by Soorpanaka's attempt to hurt Sita, chopped off her nose and breasts. Rama never desired another woman other than Sita, but I took the initiative to change this story to where the woman had to compete for Rama like Rama had to prove his worthiness for Sita. Sita wins in this story, and the tests were based on Sita's personalities of being dedicated, self-sacrificing, and pure. She exemplifies this throughout the story.
Bibliography: Narayan's Ramayana Reading Guide A
Narayan's Ramayana Reading Guide B
Hi Sonali! I liked how you developed Sita’s characteristics through putting both Sita and Soorpanaka in a task to show if Rama’s pick was going to be the right one or not. Soorpanaka tried to fool Rama into believing she couldn’t find any food when there was clearly crumbs on her face—this showed she was a liar. My favorite part about your story is how you applied the concept of “actions speak louder than words” to develop the characters.
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ReplyDeleteSonali,
I really enjoyed reading the story, because it was easy to follow and comprehend. The layout and wording you used was also very clever and this is something that a young child can read and enjoy as well. The part about Lakshmana chopping off Soorpanaka’s breasts and nose really caught my attention and made me wonder why they believed that this was necessary?
I wonder what would have happened or how the story might have continued if you explained why Soorpanaka was not by Rama’s side the next morning. Can you possibly give more detail about what happened? You might be able to give your story more depth by giving more details about the characters.
I understand that the winner would be the one who would withstand the test, but it is only after reading the author’s note that I could figure out what the parameters were. What if you stipulate these parameters in early in your story? It might make it more clearly to the reader.
Your story was very interesting seeing as it was played out in the eyes or Rama. I enjoyed reading it, but was shocked when Rama decided to make it a challenge as to whom he would love. I could not ever imagine doing anything of the sort to my wife, so it shocked me a little bit. Putting those feelings aside, knowing it is a story, I thought that it was really well done, and truly displayed the characteristic of Sita.
ReplyDeleteWow! This story is so good! The intro did its job because after the first two paragraphs I was completely roped in! I loved how you thought of this story line to explain how Soorpanka became ugly because the original Ramayana never really discussed it I don’t think. The twist of Rama being tempted by Soorpanka also took me by complete surprise so that was a good twist! I also really liked how you broke up the story into small paragraphs, it made it easier to read.
ReplyDeleteI wondered what test set by the king were you talking about in the fifth paragraph? Was it the test of breaking the bow by Sita’s father? Was Lakshmana introduced? To people that haven’t read Ramayana they wouldn’t know that Lakshmana was with Rama and Sita or who he was.
What if Sita didn’t win the competition? And it somehow it came around to really bite Rama, that’d be a big twist too.
Really good story!
I loved the picture that you decided to use for week 3! It is so cute. I also like what you did with this story. The fact that it is different than most stories in the aspect of men usually fighting for the women. It was cool to see how both women were fighting for Rama and I do love happy endings so I am glad that Sita won. I like her personality of being patient and self-sacrificing especially in the name of love. That takes a lot. Great job!
ReplyDeleteAh, this is such a fun idea for a retelling. I especially love how you’ve stayed true to the original in voice and tone, but also fleshed out the characters by showing them as real people with real emotions—in the Ramayana, because everything was so black and white, they often felt more like concepts than actual people. The attention to detail with the characterization is spot-on, too, like when Rama goes to Lakshmana for advice. Also, I cracked up laughing when Soorpanaka showed up with crumbs on her face.
ReplyDeleteMy only suggestion is that you might reconsider the punishment for the loser. I know that’s actually what Laks did to Soorpanaka in the original, but in this context—premeditated instead of as hot-blooded revenge, especially when that fate could just as easily have befallen Rama’s wife instead of her challenger, and when all Soorpanaka really did wrong in this story was compete with Sita—it’s a bit jarring. But the idea of Sita having to earn Rama this time around was really fun, and your execution was great. Nice job!
I like this story a lot. Having Rama wavering when he sees Soorpanaka is quite a plot twist to read about. Since I watch the Sita Sings the Blue film as well, I somehow picturing Rama singing a song with this story as the lyric as I read on. I also love the fact that you incorporate some of the original characteristics of Sita into this story. Since I didn't like how she was exiled in the original Ramayana, it is nice to see that her resilience, patience, and royalty finally got recognize by Rama. Good job and I am looking forward to read more stories from you.
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