Welcome to my blog! ~~~ (Image information: Personal photo of myself from Camp Crimson - July 2016) ~~~ Hi! My name is Sonali Demla, a junior Chemical Biosciences Pre-Dental major at the University of Oklahoma. I grew up in Lawton, Oklahoma with my little sister, little brother, and my dog Danny! My sister and I currently live together as she also attends the University of Oklahoma, and my little brother is in middle school. We're all really close, but my sister and I are closer than you might think. What do I mean by this? Well, when people ask me an interesting fact about myself, I tell them that my sister and I have the same birthday, except we're one year apart . Yes, an exact 365 days! Our birthday is actually coming up very soon - January 16th to be exact. It's a nice date because usually it falls on the MLK holiday, so it seems fitting that we get the day off for our birthday. Some people say, "Well, that must suck." I actu...
Hey Sonali! I just wanted to stop by and check in to see how your blog was doing after you helped give me some good feedback for one of my blogs. I just wanted to say that I really like the color scheme and the setup that you have, and your writings are really well thought out! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHello Sonali,
ReplyDeleteI love your theme! I am a huge fan of Gossip Girl and the way you have set up your post, I could picture it just as if I was watching the show myself. I liked that you were able to make the Ramayana into a modern-day show. I also like that you gave us some insight on where Ayodhya's was located and the kingdom that resided there. Some feedback, in your post you mentioned that the two men were going to fight off the demons, but at the end one of the questions were, who were these men going to fight? Maybe leave out that detail in the post so that it builds up more suspense for the story. Maybe add something about the other two brothers as well?
Other than that, I think your post was phenomenal and I look forward to reading more of your stories!
I think it’s hilarious yet so clever that you combined Indian Epics with Gossip Girl! That show was my guilty pleasure way back when so I’m really happy you wrote about it! I only have a few comments, suggestions, and questions for you. First off, how are you planning to set up your chapters? Are you going to do the whole “spotted” bit and continue with her interpretation of what’s going on, or are you going to do a series of just “spotted” posts? Second, I would suggest separating the “spotted” segment from her commentary (maybe use a division line above and below it). Third, this may be a menial thing, but I think it’d be interesting if “xoxo Gossip Girl” was in a different color (gold?) or if you added a little more color to fit your website. Anyway! Aside from that, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this introduction, and I can’t wait to read what gossip Gossip Girl has in store for the next chapter!
ReplyDeleteSonali, first off, one of my guilty pleasures is Gossip Girl so I am already excited to read and I am only on the home page! I like the color scheme you chose, classy but fun, but I might add in a little bit of color to brighten things up. "Gossip Girl here" I can here the lady's voice in my head already. This is such a wonderful idea to mash up these two very different worlds! I'm glad you gave a brief overview of what was happening and who some of the main "targets" are of the gossip. I love the iconic sign off too! Your storybook was one I randomly chose, and I am sure glad I did! I'm curious if you are going to use and specific events from the show and do a spin off of them with these new characters or fall more closely in line with the stories you have read for this class. I also wonder if every story is going to be just her "gossip" accounts or are there going to be stories about what is happening without the "gossip" aspect. Can't wait to read your stories!
ReplyDeleteSonali, I want to start off by saying that I think your concept of combining an Indian Epic with a TV show is a great idee. I have never seen Gossip Girl but I enjoyed reading your story and I can imagine what you are trying to portray. Here are my thoughts on your piece. I hope my comments are helpful and well done on this piece!
ReplyDeleteWhat if you make your introduction page a bit more colorful? Or is the theme of Gossip Girl plain?
The sentence starting with "Your one and only source" and ending with "secret is safe with me" can be your introduction paragraph and this can be exemplified by possibly breaking it up in its own paragraph. I like your format but it might be easier on the eye if you make your paragraphing more visible (hope this makes sense).
There are a few grammatical errors, but nothing major. One example: "These two brothers...but what will become of them as THEY venture.."
I like the fact that you ask all these questions at the end of your piece. It makes me as a reader excited to read what happens next.
Possibly end "xoxo Gossip Girl" like:
XOXO
GOSSIP GIRL
First off, all I can say is YESSS. I love the the point of view you decided to tell the introduction from. Even when reading it I could hear Kristen Bell's Iconic Gossip Girl voice! The set up of your blog is awesome because it will allow you to feature a new character each week! This would be great for brining in characters from the Ramayana and the Mahabharata! I love the voice you created in your introduction and it would be fun to see that throughout your writing. As for your theme, I love that you did a clean and simple look! It makes it look like a real website, which adds even more elements to your Gossip Girl theme! Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteI immediately love the beginning of your storybook introduction. Writing the stories from Gossip Girl’s perspective is such a creative and fun idea. You will be able to go in so many directions when writing your stories. There is a lot of versatility here. With that being said, you need to make sure to add as much detail as possible. Sometimes the details can get overlooked.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what the introduction would read like if you made the paragraphs a little longer? Since you have so many new lines, it is kind of morphing into one giant paragraph. If you try making the paragraphs larger and more inclusive it would be easier to read. Also, I think adding another picture that represents gossip girl a little more would be a nice touch!
All in all, I really like the direction you are going. The language you used in the introduction is really nice. Your writing makes it easier to make the character of gossip girl come across the screen.
Sonali! I am obsessed with your storybook idea! I was immediately hooked after I read the title of your project, Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl is one of my all time favorite shows so I knew that I was going to really enjoy reading your introduction. Your introduction was so clever being organized just how a gossip girl blast would have gone out. You even included the "spotted" which was so true to how a Gossip Girl blast would have gone out on the show.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping for a little bit more visual elements to help me see the characters in the different roles. But I am sure that that will come as your story begins to develop further.
I think that pictures really help stories to develop and helps the reader to see the story clearer. I think it would add a nice touch to the story and only make the introduction stronger.
I am genuinely so excited to continue reading your storybook throughout this semester and to see how you spin the Epics of India and Gossip Girl together.
Sonali I can feel the drama and jealousy already! Growing up with five sisters I was sometimes forced to watch Gossip Girl from time to time. This was a great choice of a story book style, since you enjoy the show it should be easy to write and get creative with some imagination. "Ayodhya is the beautiful capital of the kingdom Kosala. While surrounded by the waters of the Ganges, a river whose waters cleanse all sin, scandalous talk is spreading. The summers are long and dry, while the monsoons seasons are long and humid." This was a great opening line, the description of the city really puts an image in the reader's head. Having so much scandal and sin right next to the sacred waters that wash away sin is a great idea. I think you should use this level of description when it comes to your characters. Describing the characters as well as you did the city would really capture the reader. This is going to be a great storybook!
ReplyDeleteSonali,
ReplyDeleteI think it is awesome that you used Gossip Girl for your storybook idea! I think like every other girl commenting on this have a love for that amazing show. I think it was cool that you stayed true to gossip girl from the beginning and how you ended it. You did a great job setting up the story and what will come. The description of the city was phenomenal. I will add like many other have said about description and about the details. You did a great job with the city and then the rest of the story was more like a list of events. If you stay with adding more description through out your story than it will be a very solid storybook. I know in gossip girl she would talk some and then you got to the see story unravel with little blurbs of gossip girl. Maybe you can add some dialogue, and really give description of the characters. Overall, your story is really wonderful and I think you set yourself up nicely for the future of this storybook.
Hey Sonali! I’ve never watched Gossip Girl, but from my assumptions of it and the little tidbits that I’ve seen about it on social media, I’d say you have the concept nailed down to a T! I am so excited that you’re doing a more modern narrative with these ancient epics. It will be super beneficial to myself, personally, because of the simplicity of the concept of the TV show, I feel as if this will give me an additional avenue to even further understand the Ramayana, and I’m assuming it will be just as beneficial to our classmates! I have really no constructive feedback - your storybook rocks! I love the design and overall setup… it’s so modern and chic - which I’m assuming is the angle that Gossip Girl aims for as well. I can’t wait to keep checking in and reading your stories! Who knows... maybe I'll start watching Gossip Girl!
ReplyDeleteHello Sonali! So I have seen a few episodes of Gossip Girl, it is one of my wife's favorite show. And I usually get into any show I watch, even if im forced to watch it, so your rendition of what Gossip Girl would say is great and I like how you make it play into what you will be writing about later. That is really great. I am looking forward to reading more about your story as you go through the Ramayana and seeing, well, what Gossip Girl might know about the situation and how she can lead us into the coming stories. My only thought while reading, to improve your storybook you could add extra detail about everything that you are going to be looking at as you go through the story. Otherwise your storybook is solid, I enjoyed reading it and am looking forward to reading it again later. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteHi Sonali!! What a great idea for a storybook! I've personally never seen Gossip Girl, but all of my roommates watch it religiously, so I feel like I still have a good grasp on the concept. I think that is the key to a great storybook- something original, yet pretty universally understandable. It is going to be so fun seeing how you turn these Indian Epics into juicy town gossip. I feel like all of these stories have a hint of secrecy and drama to them, so it will be interesting to see how you work that into your storybook. As for constructive criticism, I would maybe add a Pretty Little Liars element to it and have the people of Ayodhya try to find out who the Gossip Girl is. There could be some funny plot twists with people getting suspicious of one another! All around great job, and I look forward to watching your storybook come to life!
ReplyDeleteThe title of your storybook caught my eye when I was looking through the different options. I absolutely love gossip girl and this is such a creative and unique way to write about the events that happened in the Ramayana. Since the whole idea is writing little updates and keeping people informed in what’s happening with the Ayodhya’s elite, it gives you a great platform to write about the numerous events and conflicts that occurred. I think you did a really great job of using the gossip girl language and writing style while incorporating the different events and information from the Ramayana. This was such a cute first entry and left me wanting to read more. I love that you even included a spotted section. You are really great writer and I think your storybook is going to be great. I loved this first addition and can’t wait to read your additions throughout the semester.
ReplyDeleteWow, Sonali, I enjoyed reading your storybook! I first selected yours because the title caught my eye since I am familiar with Gossip Girl. I liked that you kept up with that style the whole time and you did a good job of making it sound like the TV show itself. I was a little confused in the middle about some of the plot when the brother asked Sage Vishwamithra to go on an adventure and had to read that line several times to understand. But I am in suspense about how the Sage will treat the two brothers for following him to fight demons. Will he be kind to them or unleash his anger upon them? I also really liked the layout and images of your website because they fit the theme well. The kiss at the end was a nice touch and really seemed like Gossip Girl had written it. This is such a fun idea and I look forward to hearing about how the demon hunting adventure turns out! Best of luck this semester!
ReplyDeleteHi, Sonali!! I think you story turned out so great!! I had visiting your page when you first created it, and wow you have done such a great job! I like how, as someone who has never seen Gossip Girl, I had no problem keeping up with the premise of the story. The way all of these characters interact is so fun and unique. The modern twist on the original story was very well executed. My only suggestion would be to do one more quick grammatical re-read. There was one part where you say "life" and it should be "like." Overall, wonderful job and I look forward to keeping up with your storybook!!
ReplyDeleteHey Sonali! It looks like you’ve done a lot of editing and revamping to your blog - I love it! It looks great and super girly which goes well with your general theme. I read your very first introduction story a few weeks ago, so I was happy that Professor Gibbs steered me in your direction and reminded me of what you’re doing with your storybook! It’s very entertaining and an awesome concept. I personally love that you’re focusing on Rama and the Ramayana. That has been my favorite from this course so far! In your story, I notice that there isn’t any dialogue. I’m not sure if that’s because it’s from someone else’s point of view, but I think that you could still manage to get your point across and have actual dialogue rather than describing the dialogue. For instance, you say “he asks the cashier if she’s having a slow day”, however, you could break up the paragraph and also keep the story flowing in an easily visualized way if you said “Are you having a slow day?” Rama asked the cashier. Just a suggestion - I really like what you’re doing regardless!
ReplyDeleteSonali, I think that your storybook is going great, it is a fun read and I enjoyed getting to see how you put your spin on the Ramayana. I like your story because it portrays Rama in the way that I would have believed him to have been, with a charming smile and good looks. So I think that this aspect of your story is going the same way that I would have gone on my story. I like how the story is filled with jealously, really adding to the drama of the story. This is a great way to stir the pot and make sure that you keep attention of people reading. The way that you narrate the story makes it great as well. It gives more of an interest because it really makes me feel like I am watching it all play out and learning all new things about the characters as we go. Ending the story on a happy note isn't always a good idea in my book, I like to know that things are going well, but adding all the drama makes me want to know what is going to happen next time. So adding some kind of cliff hanger drama filled piece to the end of one or more of your stories can make it even better I think. I really enjoyed your story and am looking forward to reading more. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHi, Sonali! I love the progress you’ve made since I’ve last seen your storybook! The design of your website and the separation of Gossip Girl’s intro, the “spotted” segment, and the snarky blog posts were beautifully done. Your modern-day changes to Ramayana is also very fitting with your theme, and I definitely enjoy reading and seeing how you changed things to fit the era. Your introduction is flawless, and might be my favorite one out of everyone’s in the class. The only thing I was wondering was about Chapter 1 itself. Besides “Spotted:” needing to be bold to keep consistency with your introduction, I thought this chapter was a little too mellow (but then again this might just be me). The spotted segment should be an eye-catcher that would make the readers want to click the post. (“Spotted: Chuck Bass losing something nobody even knew he had. His heart.”) The first part of your story before the division line, was good and had some Gossip Girl comments, but I feel like there should be a little bit more. Again, this is all just my opinion so you should definitely do what you think is best for you story! Overall, it’s great and I can’t wait to read next week’s!
ReplyDeleteHi Sonali! I love the design of your website and I also really enjoyed reading your story. I remember reading this story about Gautama and Ahalya. It was one of my favorites at the time. Your adaptation of this story was interesting. I liked how instead of being turned to stone, she just had a stone-like impression. The curse makes more sense for a modern day setting as well. it would be a terrible punishment having no man ever be interested in you. I was wondering why he was interested in talking to her. Was it because of his ego or was it because she was beautiful? Maybe he just wanted to see her smile. I liked the background information you included about Gautama. It was helpful to learn a bit about him so we could understand who he was. You did really well with his description. Overall I like you take on the original. This was excellent work!
ReplyDeleteWow! This is such a fun and interesting concept for your storybook. I can honestly say that I’m not really familiar with the original Gossip Girl, but you did a great job of introducing the concept so it wasn’t hard to follow at all. I loved your introduction. Now let’s get into your first story. I feel like your introduction to Rama’s journey was really well constructed in that you chose a story with plenty of possibility in terms of imagery and characterization, and you handled both of those aspects very well. One suggestion I would make in order to help you improve would be to make sure that all the verbs’ tenses agree. For example, in the first sentence you lead with a clause in the present then transition into the past tense. Apart from that, the only improvement I can think of that you could possibly make would be to maybe include a little more information about how the age gap impacts this situation. It’s a bit confusing for a moment to try and figure out that Ahalya is the younger one and the reason you’re saying that is that she’s not really an adult yet. Great job on this story!
ReplyDeleteHi Sonali! Wow, oh my gosh! Loved this story so much! I absolutely love Gossip Girl, so when I saw that that was the theme of your storybook, I was already intrigued. I think you did an amazing job of balancing the story with Gossip Girl's interjections - just like the show. The only critique I have for that though, is that you might find some way for the readers to differentiate between what is the story being told, and what is Gossip Girl speaking. Obviously by reading, one can infer. However, for someone who is very familiar with Gossip Girl, it even took me a few moments to decipher in a few of the sentences. I'm not sure what you would even do, maybe a slightly different font, or new paragraphs, different formatting. That is a personal preference I suppose! And that was really the only thing I noticed about your story that I would've changed. I loved how you made Ahalya "stony-faced" to incorporate the element of stone. This was an awesome story, and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHey Sonali!
ReplyDeleteI love your idea of incorporating Gossip Girl with the Ramayana. As I was reading the introduction, I could definitely hear Kristen Bell's voice narrating the text. I like how you incorporated the original Gossip Girl text with the story of the Ramayana because it gives the original story a modern twist while keeping with the main details of the story. Similarly, it gives the Gossip Girl plot a different perspective while keeping with the general Gossip Girl theme. I think it would be interesting if you could include some more visual aid so that the reader could be more engaged with the already immersive story. I also appreciated the extra "Spotted" section at the end because it is the perfect way to lead into the next story in your storybook. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story and I'm excited for the next one!
Sonali, I really enjoyed getting to read your story today. I thought that your interpretation of the story was great. It was cool to see it in a kind of third person view. I liked how you showed the feelings of everybody involved along with their thoughts. This story was great, it really catches the drama of the whole situation. Having to get married without exactly knowing who it would be, I would feel would have some drama to it, especially if they said no. And seeing how you are going for the drama of it all made it stand out and made it good. One thing I was wondering about your story was if you were wanting to make a story that that was more like gossip girl in the sense that you wanted to show it from a third person narrative that didn't know the thoughts of the people involved. I am sure that would make it a little more difficult to do that, but it was good to see how you made the story. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHey Sonali! Me again. I was so excited to see that Professor Gibbs matched your storybook for my feedback assignment this week! I love your storybook and how you write everything so informally. Your conversational method of retelling the stories of Rama and Sita is so creative and engaging - it is a wonderful way to remember and better understand the Ramayana! I really would like to commend the way that you separate what is happening in the story with the narrator’s own thoughts and side-comments through italicizing. It may be a minor detail - but it really adds, trust me! I can’t wait to see how you end your storybook. Will there be a reveal of who Gossip Girl is? I’m so intrigued! Can’t wait to keep reading!
ReplyDeleteHey Sonali, I have already looked at the assigned storybooks to give feedback to, so I decided to look at yours! I have to say, I am very glad I did so. Like the previous comment, I must say that I think it's awesome how informally you write in your storybook. I think it makes it so much easier to read because that is what most of the readers (especially college students) are used to! Rama and Sita have been the main characters for many of my stories haha, so I very much enjoyed reading the story about Rama and Sita meeting. Reading this really made me appreciate the Ramayana that much more! It is so cool to interpret things in a different way, and you accomplished that concept very well. The narrator of the story was also a nice touch the story as well. I can't wait to read the rest of your story!
ReplyDeleteHey Sonali! I absolutely love how you start off your story with the Gossip Girl-esque "spotted" paragraph. The paragraph not only does a good job of setting up the stage for what the story is going to be about but it reminds me of the show every time. I also appreciate the fact that you tell the classic Indian with a modern twist because it makes the story that much more engaging. I really liked how you re-created Ahalya's stony appearance from the original story to being a stony-face in this story, it definitely creates a great analogy for the story. You also do a great job of explaining the story behind Ahalya, Gautama, and Indra so that the reader understands what is happening. I like how you end the story with all the questions that the reader is bound to have after reading the story. Overall, great job! I really enjoyed the story!
ReplyDeleteHey Sonali!
ReplyDeleteI just read your second story, and I loved it!! I read your first and I was interested to come back and see what more you wrote. I really like how you made Gossip Girl's comments in italics so the readers know the difference, I remember commenting on that in my first comment! It's a nice change and definitely makes the transitions easy to see for the reader! I also like how you kept the big picture the same and added some details and dialogue and modernized the plot a little. I liked the original, and you put an awesome little twist on it! Great job on your storybook, I have really enjoyed reading it.